La La Land

had a few

the best one was when we tried to buy a goat

so i pulled out the gloves went i'm micky mouse i'm searching for pluto we've lost hi

I could have an entire thread of these... but i gotta go out, maybe later

Ordering a maccy d's @ the garage instead of 10 regal & Rizla's

Telling my lass i wudnt brush her hair while she had a blue face

my lass snorted backie once that was funny as fuck

asking ppl loads " who asked for the fucking tv remote"


i cud go on & on

I was in a club in Hamburg called the Tunnel back in 2000, the days when pills worked properly
I was so wrecked I walked over to this German lass dressed in Cyber & proceeded to try and put Deutchmarks into her thinking she was a tab machine

My mate walked over and i just snapped out of it. She look bewildered

i know who youre on about

I was in a travelodge in Manchester after seeing Tiesto. I was proper tripping me box off and decided to have a piss, nowt was happening so I sat down on the toilet instead. I woke up about an hour later and looked down at my cock and it was as fat as me wrist and purple. It had been pressed against the toilet seat stopping the blood. I stood up shitting meself, still off it, waited til it went slightly back to normal and then I somehow did the same thing again.

Lucky I woke up or I would probably have had to get me cock cut off.

the day after global when gownsay had a certain illegal substance and said 'happy christmas hew' and 'i feel all stiff, someone get me some oil'

eeeee happy days

Thats just reminded me of my stupidest moment actually.

Travelodge in Glasgow after seeing Tiesto.

Absolutly battered, needed some sleep so left everyone still having a laugh to go to my room and get some sleep, got to my room and i was locked out and nobody would wake up that was still inside.

Sat down outside the room for a bit and all heard was loads of laughing, Kept looking up and down the corridor but couldnt see anything.

heard more laughing and still nobody in the corridor, heard more looked again and the only thing in the corridor was a fire extinghisher....

Shit myself in a bit of a mess, ran down th corridor, banged on the door then when i got in just burst out "the fire extinghusher keeps laughing at me"

Safe to say everyone in the room were absolutly pissing themselves with laughter.

walked half way across fenham one night thinking I could hear a house party only to get there to find it was a fucking burglar alarm (which of course we had a little dance to while working out what to do next)

not me, but the last castle party I was waiting for the loo, when this girl came out points at this big green hot water tank in the bathroom and goes

'you've got to talk to the boiler, it doesn't know what colour it wants to be...'

before running off gigling

Ive done loads of fucking stupid stuff lol, the stuff that springs to mind is snorting about 2 grams of chilli powder, trying to get into a random blokes car near Purvys thinking it was Claire's (and nearly getting a hiding for my troubles), going to various shops in "afterparty fancy dress" which i usually end up doing even now whenever at the bunker, walking from heaton to jesmond dene saturday afternoon in shorts, t shirt and dressing gown to talk to the animals, theres been fucking loads. All good crack though

Is that the time I was walking to the chip shop and found you wandering, looking for your mates house but unsure of the number or indeed the street?

I have always behaved myself under the influence.

A lad i know completely lost the plot once on a sunny saturday afternoon. He took various class A drugs, drove to Asda in stanley and parked outside the entrance (partially blocking it). He entered the store and convinced himself he was an employee, then proceeded to help actual employees stack the shelves and pack peoples shopping bags. What a headcase!

both legendary

ah um could be, you'd have to be more specific... did you by any chance join me on my quest?

remembered another one...

couple of years back I'd foolishly given in to severe peer pressure and necked a load of mushrooms late one saturday night at a mates house, and was busy tripping my bollocks off when I got a call from another mate at a party going

'hello is this dial a gav? we've got a dial a gav mission for you... we need a gav at flat xxx one of the tower blocks to party with...'

so being easily led I wrote the address on my hand (very sensible) got up, announced I was on a dial a gav mission and set off across fenham tripping my box off. I'd have to stop every so often to work out where I was and what I was doing, which involved looking at my hand, seeing the address and going 'ah yes I'm on a dial a gav mission...'

Was doing ok til I got to the bit of fenham with trees in it, then the trees started turning into nasty tree spirits if I didn't say hello to them and ask permission to get past, so I ended up saying hello to every tree on route going 'hello tree, it's just me on a dial a gav mission, can I come past' and the nasty tree spirits would turn into nice tree spirits and wave at me in a smiley kinda way

/wish I'd never typed this

as I said earlier I could have an entire thread to myself... actually I think there is one somewhere on the freaky dancing forum thinking about it.

[hippy mode]
nowt wrong with seeing tree spirits anyway
[/hippy mode]