Kerry Katona Wrecked on Telly?

Carson · Oct 23, 2008

Originally posted by adam.
id motorboat the shit out of them tits tho
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too fucking right

crasher_chick · Oct 23, 2008

They've just done another peice on her on This Morning, as they were concerned over the number of emails they received on the matter!!

She just needs to get out of the limelight and concentrate on being with her family and being a good mother.

Lee · Oct 23, 2008

Originally posted by crasher_chick
She just needs to get out of the limelight and concentrate on being with her family and being a good mother.
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theres no danger of that

Friedrich Nietzsche · Oct 23, 2008

Originally posted by Vance

Id have loved a comedown cuddle off the fat Fern
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d4rud3 · Oct 23, 2008

crazy

Chris S · Oct 23, 2008

horrible ex fat titted car crash chip shop rubbish

Ness · Oct 23, 2008

Originally posted by Chris S
horrible ex fat titted car crash chip shop rubbish
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couldnt have said it better!!

Rossy · Oct 23, 2008

Urgg, cringe, as annoying as she is, it's pretty fucked the whole "drag her out and stick her in the technological cage" for all to point and gawk at. If she was in such a state, they shouldn't have let her on air then should they, just shows "worried viewers" over some gouched out celeb is a T.V. bosses wet dream, fucking puritan sadistic cunts
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This comment pretty much sums up my views on it.

This morning or whatever it was, should have a fucking word with themselves before she does.

She's on state approved SSRI's, it's no wonder she's a clip.

STATIC · Oct 23, 2008

The full vid is on youtube like.... well funny when it all goes sour and silver fox phil and fern start the verbal bashings.... is it alcohol what a comment...

Hutch · Oct 23, 2008

Slut

STATIC · Oct 23, 2008

Originally posted by Hutch
Slut
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Class! when single words get straight to the point there Hutchy!

BRID · Oct 24, 2008

I'd love to know what she's been taking - i want some!

adam. · Oct 24, 2008

haha fucking hell shes only 27 too

forks · Oct 24, 2008

is that her IQ?

Rossy · Oct 27, 2008

Sums it up as usual.

So, you think it's funny to laugh at irritating celebrities when their lives fall apart, do you?

o Charlie Brooker
o The Guardian,
o Monday October 27 2008

There's a lot of bleak and distressing news around at the moment. In fact, I've become so conditioned to expect bad news that if I turned on CNN tomorrow morning and saw a report saying every kitten in the world had died of leukaemia during the night, accompanied by footage of sobbing workmen bulldozing their bodies into a mass grave, I'd probably just shrug and think: "Yeah, that figures." But grim though the news is, nothing of late has haunted me quite as much as a story I read some time ago - this time last year as it happens - about a man who was jailed for urinating on a woman who'd collapsed in the street, shouting "This is YouTube material!" as she lay dying.

A reader reminded me of this last week. But only indirectly. I get a lot of emails from people asking me to read through stuff they've written to see if I think it's funny, or can give them advice and so on. And I rarely do, because a) some of the stuff they send is even worse than my own (in which case they must be really straining), and b) my inbox is perpetually over its size limit thanks to an endless swarm of whopping great PR emails containing 10MB JPEG invites to things I'm never, ever going to go to - so half the time I can't reply anyway.

But during a bored moment last Thursday I bucked a trend and decided to read one such submission: a comic mock-news article a reader sent in, concerning Kerry Katona's already-notorious appearance on This Morning. Said reader called Katona a "mentally hilarious ex-girl band jizz puppet" and a "pram-faced shit-muncher".

LOL.

I couldn't quite work out which was worse - the fact that they'd written this in the first place, or the assumption that I, specifically, would find it funny. Having poured countless buckets of deliberately puerile abuse over people for several years, to the point where I've developed RSI, I figured I only had myself to blame. Then again, maybe not. Perhaps I'm mellowing in my old age, or perhaps I've grown 15% more human, but kicking real people when they're down doesn't really activate my chuckle cells.

Sure enough, Katona's apparent meltdown - assuming her slurring performance was a meltdown and not, as she claimed, a reaction to antidepressants - became "YouTube material" within minutes of the broadcast. And although many of the comments underneath expressed concern or pity, there were plenty of cackles too. "Haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa," wrote one warm-hearted chum of humanity, because a simple "Ha ha ha" just wouldn't suffice.

Why leave it there, chuckles? Why not head down to your nearest addiction clinic and laugh yourself up a storm? Or better still, swing by the local hospice: it's a goldmine of comic misery. Except it isn't, because those are "innocent" victims, none of whom have previously annoyed you by being famous, or courting attention with lad-mag photo shoots, which is, apparently, all it takes to convert basic human sympathy into side-splitting belly laughs.

Of course, if you want to be on the receiving end of this kind of point-and-giggle shittery it helps if you're a woman, and you've had your crotch flashed across the internet courtesy of some clammy paparazzo who held his camera at ankle-height and shoved it up your skirt as you clambered out of your car. Look! When we lie down on the pavement, utterly prostrating ourselves among the dog piss and fag butts, when we lie down here and gaze upwards ... we can actually see your vagina, you repugnant! And from here on in, anything negative that happens to you has been instantly rendered hilarious. Lost your mind? Haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa. Lost your children? Haaaaa haaaaa haaaaa. Here's hoping you get drunk and stumble into a threshing machine so we can print out the pictures and stick them on the office noticeboard and laugh till our noses run. And why? Because we're better than you.

Asserting an unearned, wisp-thin air of superiority: that's what it's really about.

The equation runs as follows: vacuous celebrities are trashy and annoying + I consider myself above them = HAAAA HAAAA HAAAA CHECK OUT THE SUFFERING LOL!!!!

It doesn't add up. If you look down on the genuine misery of those you consider beneath you, you're not just being an arsehole, but a snooty one to boot. The very fact that you're willing to get so annoyed by an irritating celebrity that you'll gleefully jettison any notion of sympathy is surely a bright scarlet warning light indicating just how empty your spiritual gas tank has become. We're talking about Kerry Katona here, not Jörg Haider. Do you want to end up like Carole Malone? No? Then for Christ's sake take up a hobby or something. Fly a kite. Phone a friend. Visit a museum. Play some Guitar Hero. Anything. Just gain a little cheerful perspective.

Because we're all just jerks in the playpen, when it comes right down to it. And tossing insults and brickbats is all part of the fun, especially when it's done with panache. But when anyone - no matter how annoying - stumbles and shatters their skull, you'd better be prepared to either shut up or help them. Why? Because you're also a grown up, stupid. And that's what they do.
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forks · Oct 27, 2008

Originally posted by Rossy
Sums it up as usual.
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god that guy can write...... and spot on too

BRID · Oct 27, 2008

Get 'Dawn of the Dumb' forks - its written by the guy who wrote that.

Never laughed so much at a book.

forks · Oct 27, 2008

ok. I will. really rate charlie brooker

Scotty · Oct 27, 2008

Originally posted by brid
Get 'Dawn of the Dumb' forks - its written by the guy who wrote that.

Never laughed so much at a book.
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Class book that

DN HY · Oct 27, 2008

that article by charlie brooker does make interesting reading to be fair

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Kerry Katona Wrecked on Telly?

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Kerry Katona Wrecked on Telly?

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Hutch \o/\o/ TRANCE \o/\o/

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forks still not dead

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forks still not dead

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