anyone up for a sick joke thread? im bored!

no smigs, definitely not from a xmas cracker!

d'ya want more?

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.



Why didn't she get up?
Because she had no legs.



Why didn't anyone help her?
Because she had no friends.



Why didn't she have any friends?
Because she's fat.

haha, i like that one lee!

just to prove i can laugh at myself...

Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?
Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin


What's the difference between an Irish wedding and a funeral?
There is one less drunk at the funeral

What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.

:laugh:

You to should be on stage with chubby brown

i take no credit for these jokes.... the can all be found at www.sickipedia.org:D

WRONG WRONG WRONG, BUT OH SOO FUNNY!



A father is in the bath with his three year-old son.
Child: Daddy, why is my willy different to yours?
Father: Well son, yours isn't erect.

:sick:

Who is fat as fuck?


Fiddla!!

LMFAO ! some of these jokes are funny as fuck

English man, irish man, scotsman walk into a bar and order 3 pints, the barman replies




















Hew is this a fucking joke!!

what's the main cause of paedophilia???






sexy kids

this is a bit sick even of me so i apologise

whats better than raping a deaf girl?











cutting her hands off so she cant tell anyone

well you completely fucked that up dincha

racist

another wrong un'


whats the best thing about shaggin twenty seven year olds



















theres twenty of them to shag

Wots purple & orange & found at the bottom of a swimming pool
















Baby with burst arm bands

these are some women jokes - sure the guys will find them funny

What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party

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Why is it called PMS? -- Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken yawn

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Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."

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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life

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Tongue Twister
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him also has a black eye.

He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence: we both have black eyes. Mind if I ask how you got yours?"

So the guy tells him: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident, sort of. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the biggest breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying: I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh, I said: I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh." "She socked me one."

The first guy responded, "Mine was a tongue twister too."
"I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: Please pour me a bowl of Corn Flakes, but I accidentally said: You ruined my life, you lousy bitch.''