The Glaswegian Rhapsody T he Glaswegian Rhapsody - you might have seen this before. (sung to Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody) Is this the real life, is it the methadone? Stuck in the Gorbals, two bob fur the telephone? Open yer wine an' talk wi' a whine like meeeee... Am just a weeji, gie us yer Sunny D. Cos I'll chib yer pal, rip yer Da; Slash yer dug, r1de yer Maw! Any way the Clyde flows, Disnae really metter tae me... tae meeeee... Haw Maw, just chibbed some bam, Buckie bottle tae the heid, Noo the fuck1n' b@st@rd's deid! Haw Maw, Um just oan parole, An noo I'm headin back tae Barlineeeee... Haw Maw, ooh ooh-ooh ohh, Never meant tae steal yer purse, But if I'm no fu' o' smack this time the morra'. Kerry oot, kerry oot! An we'll go oot oan the batter! Too late, the bailiff's here, Sends shivers doon ma spine, Gubbed 10 jellies just in time. Goodbye all ma muckers, I've got tae go, Got tae go and rip some w@nk fae up the scheme. Haw Maw, ooh ohh-ooh ooh I'm such a jakey bam, I sometimes think I've never been washed at all... I see a little silhouetto of a bam, Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us a kergo? Thunderbird, White Lightning, very very fright'ning to me ! Twenty Mayfair, (twenty mayfair) Twenty Mayfair, (twenty mayfair) Twenty Mayfair and some skins, Magnifico oh oh oh oh! I'm just a fat boy, nae body loves me, He's just a fat boy fae a fat family! Spare us a pound fur a wee cup o tea? Get tae fcuk, skanky slob, will ye get a job? For fcuksake, No! I will no' get a job! - Get a job! For fcuksake, I will no' get a job! - Get a job! For fcuksake, Will you get a job! - Get a job! Will no' get a job, get a job! Will no' get a job, get a job! No, no, no, no, no, no... Oh gonorrhoea! gonorrhoea! Gonorrhoea and the clap! Then doon the pub, has the barman put aside for me? For me, for me, for meeeee!? So you 'hink you can slash me and p1sh in my eye? So ye 'hink ye can chib me an' leave me to die? Haw b@wbag, can't dae this tae me b@wbag! Just wait till I'm oot, wait till I'm right oot ma nut! Fcuk all really matters; any one can see, Fcuk all really matters, fcuk all really matters tae me!
