Scouse joke Du Jour! Just for Tom... an oldie... > >Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a > >motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker > >stops > >to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them > >that > >he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will > >take > >a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to > >repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he > >tells > >the scousers he has to leave. > > > >The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the > >back > >with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees. They manage > >to > >squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the > >driver > >shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late > >and so > >puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls > >him > >up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to > >which > >he replies with sarcasm "Scouse eggs". > > > >The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. > >He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He rushes back to > >his > >cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many > >officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he > >requires > >so many officers. > > > >"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched > >and the > > b*****ds have managed to nick a motorbike already".
speaking of scousers... An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: "My God, it's Jesus!" Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: "My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!" Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. "Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle." Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says, "Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit. (not trying to hijack your thread, or steal your glory btw!!)
A might as well do one in here n all then A scouse woman is doing her dishes when her daughter comes and asks her 'mummy why are your hands so soft and gentle' the mother replies 'cos im only 13!'
