Popbitch tales Which diminutive pop star was airlifted to a South-west London hospital three years ago needing to get an Alsation removed from her parts? A sex game had gone wrong and the dog's penis had become swollen and stuck. ------------------- Avisodomy is a traditional act once common among agricultural types. It involves sticking one's penis into a hen, and then breaking its neck. The bird's death spasms apparently cause a pleasant sensation for the chicken-fucker. The new Sexual Offenses bill is being debated in the House of Lords. The bill at present contains a clause which makes it illegal to insert an animal's penis into one's anus or vagina. The Lords are now discussing whether this should be extended to outlaw the act of inserting a whole animal, such as a gerbil, up your arse. But it's not all bad - so far, the Lords are not proposing that masturbating an animal, or using one to masturbate with, should be an offense. -------------- We are disgusted to hear of the toilet cubicle antics of Stereophonics drummer Stuart Cable. At a recent Stereophonics party, Cable was stopped by a bouncer from using one of the cubicles because the flush was bust. Stuart shouted out that he used to be a plumber, rolled up his sleeves, got down on the floor and fiddled about in the cistern until it was fixed. His only problem was a wooden part that he couldn't fit back on. Enter drug legend (and former carpenter) Howard Marks - who promptly sorted the wood out, leaving the toilet in perfect working order. There used to be a time when you could rely on celebrities to use toilet cubicles for fucking underage groupies and hoovering gak. What's the world coming to? (FYI: Stuart's mum is called Mabel Cable.)
