penis wants a raise The Penis Wants a Raise > > > > I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for > > The following reasons: > > > > 1. I do physical labor. > > > > 2. I work at great depths. > > > > 3. I plunge head first into everything I do. > > > > 4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. > > > > 5. I work in a damp environment. > > > > 6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation. > > > > 7. I work in high temperatures. > > > > 8. My work exposes me to diseases > > > > >__________________________________________________________________________ > > Dear Penis, > > > > After assessing your request, and considering the > > Arguments you have > > Raised, the management denies your request for the > > Following reasons: > > > > 1. You do not work 8 hours straight. > > > > > > 2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after > > EACH brief work period. > > > > 3. You do not always follow the orders of the > > Management team. > > > > 4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are > > Often seen visiting other locations. > > > > 5. You do not take initiative - you need to be > > Pressured and stimulated in > > Order to start working. > > > > 6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end > > Of your shift. > > > > 7. You don't always observe necessary safety > > Regulations, such as wearing > > The correct protective clothing. > > > > 8. You will retire LONG before you are 65. > > > > 9. You are unable to work double shifts. > > > > 10. You sometimes leave your designated work area > > Before you have completed the assigned task. > > > > 11. And if that were not all, you have constantly > > Been seen entering and > > Exiting the workplace carrying two > > Suspicious-looking bags. > > > > Sincerely, The Management > > > > >__________________________________________________________________________ > > > > 5 reasons not to be a penis... > > > > 1. You're bald your whole life. > > > > 2. You have a hole in your head. > > > > 3. Your neighbors are nuts. > > > > 4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and... > > > > 5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then > > Faint
