Old Vern 88-year-old Vern and 82-year-old Mildred became very close to each other at their nursing home. Although they didn't have sex, every night Mildred would go to Vern's room and they would lie in bed and watch TV while she held his privates. One night Mildred went into Vern's room and found another resident of the nursing home, Edith, in Vern's bed, watching TV and holding his privates. "Vern", Mildred cried, "Is she prettier than me?" Vern replied, "NO!" "Does she have a better personality?" Vern replied, "NO!" "Then please tell me what does Edith have that I don't?" "Parkinsons," Vern replied.
