old firm joke On a tour of Scotland, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the west coast. His Range Rover was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing a Glasgow Celtic jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark! At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Glasgow Rangers tops sped into view one of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Celtic fan from the water and using long clubs beat the shark to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling from the shore...... It was the Pope calling them to the beach. On reaching land the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I heard that the people of Scotland were bigoted and trying to divide the country in two but now I see this is a truly enlightened example of tribal harmony which could serve as a model for other nations." He knighted them and drove off. As he departed the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that?!" "That," one answered, "was the Pope. He rules Catholics and knows everything about our country." "Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f**k all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up? Or do we need to get another one?"
