New international virus originated in ireland!!!

Discussion in 'Fun Stuff' started by johntystar, May 30, 2003.

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)

  1. johntystar

    johntystar Registered User

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2002
    Messages:
    2,332
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Portrush, northern ireland
    New international virus originated in ireland!!!

    The World Health Organisation (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning
    about
    BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified
    problem
    has spread rapidly throughout the world.


    The disease, identified as BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome)
    affects people of many different ages. Believed to have started in
    Ireland
    in 1500 BC, the disease seems to affect people who congregate in Pubs
    and
    Taverns or who just congregate. It is not known how the disease is
    transmitted but approximately three billion people world-wide are
    affected
    daily. Early symptoms of the disease include an uncontrollable urge at
    5:00pm to consume a beer or alcoholic beverage. This urge is most
    keenly
    felt on Fridays. More advanced symptoms of the disease include talking
    loudly, singing off-key, heightened sexual attraction/confidence (even
    towards uglies), uncalled for laughter, uncontrollable dancing,
    unprovoked
    arguing and loss of memory.


    In the final stages of the disease, victims are often cross-eyed, and
    speak
    incoherently both to themselves and anyone nearby. Vomiting, loss of
    memory,
    loss of balance, loss of clothing and loss of virginity can also
    occur.
    Sometimes death ensues, usually accompanied by the victim shouting,
    "Hey
    Fred, bet you can't do this!" or "Wanna see how fast it goes??"


    If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you
    quarantine
    yourself in a pub with fellow victims until last call or all the
    symptoms
    have passed. Sadly, it is reported that the disease can reappear at
    very
    short notice or at the latest, on the following Friday. Side effects
    for
    survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property, killer
    headaches,
    an urge to consume vast quantities of water. On the up side, there is
    not,
    and probably never will be, a permanent cure.
  2. 1615634792921.png
  3. Nat

    Nat Registered User

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2002
    Messages:
    5,014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Down bloody South
    lmfao

    Irish what more can you say:lol: ;)
  4. Chris 00 'Ave It

    Chris 00 'Ave It

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2003
    Messages:
    713
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sunny Scunthorpe
    LMFAO :lol: :lol:

    And I was gonna ask why this had been moved! :lol:
  5. johntystar

    johntystar Registered User

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2002
    Messages:
    2,332
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Portrush, northern ireland
    who keeps moving my threads.........name yourselves

Share This Page