> THIS IS A BIT LONG BUT IT'S WORTH A READ. > > This is actual transcript of Ali G's interview with Elton John....this > > is apparently going to be televised very soon - but Elton John is trying > > to stop the broadcast - can't imagine why! > > > > Ali G: Alo! I is ere wiv none uver dan da batty boy of pop, John Elton. > > Respect. > > > > Elton John: It's Elton John actually Ali. > > > > Ali G: Aiih, whatever. So John, is you always been a batty boy cause I > > erd dat you woz once married - although I also erd dat da missus was > > mingin? > > > > Elton John: Well Ali if you mean have I always been gay then probably > > deep down I was but maybe fought it because in my younger days > > especially it was not socially acceptable to be gay. > > > > Ali G: Fer real, but when you was gettin' jiggy did you fink about > > people like James Dean and that Jonny Rottweiler who was tarzan so you > > wouldn't end up wiv a floppy or woz you tris*xual and didn't care where > > you was stickin' Mr biggy? > > > > Elton John: Again I probably fought hard to convince myself wasn't gay > > so I never had a problem maintaining an er*ction with women. I now know > > I am homos*xual so I would probably struggle to get aroused with a woman > > now. > > > > Ali G: Wow, I fink I might be homos*xual then cause Mr biggy wasn't > > coming out to play last Saturday night although ma Julie says it woz coz > > I drank a bottle of Dan Jackiels and had about 6 spl*ffs. I fink it woz > > coz me Julie isn't very subtractive now in fact she's a dog. > > > > Elton John:I think you're Julie was right - it takes one to know one. > > > > Ali G: Wot, is you saying me Julie is a batty boy? Nah, the b*tch won't > > take it up the exit hole, I've tried slipping it in a few times. > > Happarently Julie is too nice a girl for batty s*x but she's not too > > nice for a threesome wiv me mate Dave - it woz wicked! > > > > Elton John: Well a lot of women are not keen on anal s*x just as I know > > some gay men who are not keen on it either. Just because you're gay > > doesn't mean that you have to like it - there are other ways to express > > yourself s*xually with another man. > > > > Ali G: Eh? Like fellatilatio you mean or gaelic. > > > > Elton John: Gaelic? > > > > Ali G: Aiih, gaelic. When batty boys lick each other. > > > > Elton John: Sure, oral s*x is one way of pleasing a lover but sensual > > massage can be very enjoyable for example. > > > > Ali G: But dat is a bit rank innit - ah mean you need to lose you're > > orange juice or what is da point? Anyways enough talk about homosapiens > > - I hear dat you spend killions of dosh every year on shopping. Is dat > > because you is a feminist? > > > > Elton John: I do spend a lot of money on shopping yes but I wouldn't > > describe myself as a feminist. > > > > Ali G: But I thought dat all gay people were feminists? > > > > Elton John: Eh? > > > > Ali G: Chill. Anyway, is you related to dat lefty comedian Ben Elton > > cause I fink he is rank. > > > > Elton John: No, I told you before my name is Elton John and not John > > Elton. > > > > Ali G: Cool, woz your parents spaced out when dey named you? > > > > Elton John: No, that's not my real name but my stage name. Many > > performers change their names to try to sound more appealing to the > > public. Take Gary Glitter for example, his name is really Paul Gadd - > > can you imagine the same guy selling so many records as Paul Gadd or me > > as Reg Dwight. > > > > Ali G: Nah, but I can imagine him taking some poor kiddies up the Gary > > Glitter coz he's a paedovile innit. Anyways, talkin of sickos - how's > > yer mate George Michael - I would never let my son go down on him the > > preverted bastard. > > > > Elton John: OK so George made a mistake - anyway I thought you said > > enough of the gay talk. I'd much rather you concentrated on another > > aspect of me. > > > > Ali G: Me know what you is saying, sorry Mr Elton. OK then, does you not > > fink dat you looks rank wearing a wig? Ah mean you looked a total d*ck > > in the seventies wiv da shades but everyone looked like d*cks in da > > seventies. > > > > Elton John: If you're going to insult me any more I will walk out of the > > interview - I can put up with a lot but you're going too far > > > > Ali G: Chill Johnny, no offence. OK - you re-wrote dat Candle in the > > Wind song when Princess Di got wasted, do you fink she was incinerated > > by da SAS on da Queens orders or do you fink it woz just down to dat > > p*ssed French c*nt. > > > > Elton John: Really Ali, Princess Diana was a very dear personal friend > > of mine whom I loved very much - I don't want to discuss it. > > > > Ali G: You loved her, but how could you if you is a batty boy? Is she a > > femisist or somefink? > > > > Elton John: (Elton leaves the room) > > > > Ali G: Nil respect to da menstral batty boy of pop - some people is just > > too sensidine. It must be all da years hangin wiv da homosapiens and > > havin his batty bashed. Anyways I is off for some 'erbal remedy wiv me > > boyz westside. Booyakasha!
nah i meant about princess diana co's they were mates and he was ripping on his dead mate init i would have cracked him if he took the piss out of any of me mates who is dead
