"EVIDENCE: Have you caught your child masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down holding his erect penis, he's probably masturbating. "
FUCKING HELL HAHAHAHHAHA DEPRESSION: Is your teenager depressed? If a teenager acts sullen, withdrawn or unhappy - the most likely cause is chronic masturbation. IDEALISM: Does your teenager have Liberal or otherwise idealistic political opinions? The weakness of mind brought on by self-abuse often leads to left-wing sympathies Good job its a joke like
:rofl: thats one of the funniest things i've seen in a long time!!! Kill your television. There is absolutely nothing of value on television. Everyone should be reading their Bibles or working, not watching filth like Baywatch or Star Trek. Control your child's reading material. Screen everything your child brings into the house. Do not allow anything even remotely stimulating. Get up early in the morning and go through the newspaper cutting out all of the pictures in the Underwear ads. Burn them before your teenager wakes up. Be sensible about the music your child listens to. There is hardly any music in existence that is really suitable, because anything with a "Rock," "Country" or "Gospel" beat to it (even if it is labeled "Christian!") is designed to incite sexual desire and summon demons from the Pit of Hell straight into your nice little suburban home! Practically all music CDs, tapes or MP3 files in your child's possession must be destroyed, especially if they are by pornographic "Rap" artists such as Garth Brooks, Britney Spears or NSYNCH. If you collaborate with your fellow church-goers on this, the event can turn into a huge, festive bonfire and prayer meeting! lmao @ "rap" artists such as garth brooks!!
Just noticed the 'common questions' page Q: Aren't crime and poverty bigger problems today than masturbation? What is President Bush doing about crime and poverty? A: As far as crime goes, it's pretty obvious that masturbation and football (you know, guys bending over in tight pants) are the leading causes of rape and other sexual crimes. After masturbation and football are made illegal, the crime rate will no doubt plummet.
