M4 Speeding - got stopped! While I was driving down the M4 the other day,(going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked,"What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? "And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet" Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously,"And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Speeding ticket: £105.00 Court costs: £45.00 Look on copper's face . Priceless....
