irishman joke One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer & closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat & even a raft. Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman & said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over & unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit & pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it & takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah, "said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!" "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey? "asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "10 years." Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve unzips a pocket there & removes a flask & hands it to him. He opened the flask & took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" stated the Irishman. " 'Tis truly fantastic!! At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And, how long has it been since you played around?" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees & sobbed, "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"