Insults Some of these are new to me. She had a f*nny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan Had more hands up her than sooty! Shes got a face like a dog lickin pi*h off a nettle. It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe! She's got a face that could make an onion cry. I wouldn't ride her into battle. everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege I wouldnt do her with a rusty pole mair chins than a chinese phone book She smells like an alkies carpet she has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician It's like sha*gin a pail of water. It's like sha*gin the sleeve off a wizards cloak! she's killed more co*ks than a fowl butcher fa*ny like a ripped out fireplace face like a sand blasted tomato ar*e like a bag of washing She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant she's seen more helmets than Hitler face like a stuntman's knee She's got a fa*ny like a badly packed kebab Like opening the window and sha*ging the night She's seen more co*kends than weekends A left her with a face like a painter's radio Fa*ny like a clowns pocket Fa*ny like a Hippo's yawn She's that ugly not even a sniper would take her out I bet she's got a fa*ny like a pub carpet More pri*ks than a second hand dartboard. face like a blind joiners thumb Shes done more lengths than Duncan Goodhew She's been shot over more times than Sarajevo Even the tide wouldn't take her out got more finger prints on her than Scotland Yard handled more balls than Dino Zoff pi*h flaps like John Waynes saddle bags She had a pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout A chunt like a burst couch A face like she's been ram raiding on scooters shes had more seamen than Saltcoats Shes seen more stiffs than Quincy! Shes seen more cokes than a bottle of bacardi! c*cked more times than Elmer Fudds shotgun
One of my favourites but not on the list my mate said it to me once I nearly passed out... "Her breath smelt like a shit-smugglers rucksack"