how to shower like a man How to shower like a man Take of clothes while sitting on bed and leave in a pile on the floor. Walk naked into bathroom. If wife/girlfriend/one night stand is seen shake knob at her while shouting ‘WHEY HEY!!’ Look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique. Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch bollocks whilst telling yourself how big they are. Get in shower. Wash face. Wash armpits. Laugh at how loud farts are sound in the shower. Wash bollocks and surrounding area. Wash arse leaving hair on soap. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo. Pull back shower curtain so you can see yourself in the mirror. Piss in shower. Rinse off shampoo and get out of the shower. Fail to notice the water on the floor as the shower curtain has been out of the bath the whole time. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of knob AGAIN. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor. Leave bathroom light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If wife/girlfriend/one night stand is seen pull off towel grab knob and shout ‘Yeah Baby!!’ whilst thrusting your pelvis towards her. Admire size of knob and muscles in full size bedroom mirror whilst telling yourself that you are the sexiest man alive. Put on yesterdays clothes.
