ha ha haddy ha ha Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed down the long corridors. Because she and her fellow residents are one sandwich short of a picnic, they all tolerate each other, some of the males actually join in. One day, Ethel was speeding along one corridor when a door opened and Mad Mike stepped out of his room with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license to drive that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag, pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird William popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP!" Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a Bubble-Gum wrapper and held it up to him. William nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am". As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bonkers Brian stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. "Oh, no!" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"
ok here's 1..... Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lady 1: "What's that?" Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet." Lady 1: "Where did you get it?" Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore." The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years old) but very delicately asks what brand she prefers. Lady 1: "Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel." The pharmacist fainted.
