Gary Nevilles latest diary The Gary Neville Diaries Return Monday April 19 2004 It's been another difficult week for the Neviller. Here's his in-no-way-made-up-at-all diary of a week of devastation after David's betrayal with yukky girls... Monday Still can't believe he sent those text messages to yukky girls too. Everyone knows girls smell. Have been crying every night for a week. Told Mum it was Phil's fault and she made him stand in the corner. Even when his wife was there. Ha. Still got one text message from him. The special one - 'I'm going to hold you down and **** your *******'. Later: Have looked in Mum's crossword dictionary. Thicko spelt 'shave' and 'moustache' wrong. Tuesday "And the ball falls to the brilliant Gary Neville with his lovely thick moustache and he makes no mistake and lashes home the ball. The crowd go wild - there's nobody these Old Trafford fans love more than Gary Neville...And there's Sir Alex Ferguson with a tear in his eye. He loves Gary and his thick moustache like a son..." Sir even patted me on the back and said 'Well done, Phil'. Bet Rebecca 'Stinky' Loos (ha) couldn't score against Leicester. Wednesday Gave Sir the tea cosy I knitted to match the doilies. Think he liked it because I saw him smile when he showed it to Keano. Maybe I should do one for him too. In green Then maybe he won't tie my shoelaces together again Went to Mum's for tea. Ran the length of the kitchen to appeal her decision to let Phil lick out the cake bowl. Made Mum cry but at least I got to lick out the bowl! Moustache definitely looks thicker today. Thursday Said 'howdy' to Tim in training and he told me to '****ing **** off you little ****'. Said 'yo' to Rio and he said exactly the same. Maybe this Tourettes thing is spreading. Would tell Sir but think he's got it too. Saw 'Stinky' Loos on TV. She looks really smelly. Tried to draw a little moustache (not mustach, thicko) on her face but she kept moving. Update: This marker was permanent. Mum says I need to buy her a new TV. Friday Not fair, not fair, not fair. Graham Poll is in the papers saying I'm a diver but Mum says I can't call The Scum and say he's got a big bum. It's not fair because he started it. And he has got a big bum. Saturday "And the ball falls to the brilliant Gary Neville with his lovely thick moustache and he tries an audacious overhead kick. Is nothing beyond the talents of Old Trafford's favourite son? But a cheating, handballing nobody who plays for a nothing team pushes the ball over the bar to deny brave Neville, his thick moustache and the greatest team in the whole wide world yet another goal..." The referee didn't crack like Mum did. He didn't even cry. Gave Matt 'Who?' Taylor my nastiest glare after the game. And then I saw his Mum and glared at her too. His Dad was bigger than me so stopped there. Sunday There's another yukky girl in the papers telling yukky stories about how yukky David made her feel so yucking special. How can he do this to me? Watched a programme about skin grafts - they take the skin from a place that nobody sees and put it in the place where you need the skin. Has given me an idea about thickening my moustache...
