Funnys The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2 Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: Bombay. Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Robinson: Wh...? Contestant (interrupting): Pass! Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? Contestant: (long pause) Joe? National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1 Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? Contestant: William Shakespeare. Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er... Mexico? Family Fortunes, ITV 1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword 2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon 3) Name the Capital of France? F 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital 7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil Cool A famous Scotsman? Jock 9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde. 10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs 11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse 13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair 14) A famous Royal ? Mail 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings 16) A famous bridge ? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters 17) Something a cat does ? Goes to the Toilet 1Cool Something you do in the bathroom ? Decorate 19) A method of securing your home ? Put the kettle on 20) Something associated with pigs ? The Police 21) A sign of the Zodiac ? April 22) Something people might be allergic to ? Skiing 23) Something you do before you go to bed ? Sleep 24) Something you put on walls ? A roof 25) Something Slippery ? A conman 26) A kind of ache ? A fillet of fish 27) A Jacket Potato topping ? Jam 2Cool A food that can be brown or white ? A potato 29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas 30) Something Red? My sweater The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774 Presenter: Who killed **** Robin? Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead. Lincs FM phone-in Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. Steve Wright Show, Radio 2 Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? Contestant: India. Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument? Contestant: The baton. Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? Contestant: Expresso. Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. Contestant: Sydney. Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy McGinty's? Contestant: I don't know. Wright: It begins with a "G". Contestant: Cow. This Morning, ITV Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false? Contestant: True ? Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that. BBC Radio Newcastle Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? Contestant: Four. BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er... Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run... Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I... Contestant: Walked? Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No.
