French Ham

French Ham

This long-standing feud James has had me wondering, this has been ongoing for years and I really don't know why?

You have made a point at trying to poke fun @ every post I make regardless of subject and trying to make me look like chewing gum from the bottom of you army issue trainer

I spent several minutes thinking about it @ work last night, and I came up with various ways in this issue could be resolved.

Violence

Physical violence although very satisfying I personally couldn't cope with the amount of shit I would get. The sheer guilt of you having to spend xmas in hospital, and eating turkey through a straw would be funny but a bit out of bounds. Anyway I fear of living up to my violent reputation (dunno where that comes from).

Handbags

Another option, I decided against this as Revel no doubt stocks the latest in handbag battle technology with ultra cool street cred. I would have to borrow one off Jess or Katie, and I'm sure they would say no

Pistols @ dawn

My forte you could say, my intensive SAS training from the tender age of 4 makes my quick draw faster than the speed of light. These days after being discharged for being too hard I'm unable to put my hands on firearms To be honest the only weapon I have fired in anger is in my pants, and I doubt I could rise to the occasion at the sight of you in a pringle cardigan

So I continued for a further few seconds..........

After the Trent Moller debate of yesterday I decided to make you an offer to settle this for good without need to dentists or character assassination.

Music we all know you think you swing between the hind legs of a grand national winner when it comes to tunes. I would say differently but you think you the bee's fucking bollocks.

Here’s my suggestion, should be funny and will involve the rest of the board...should inject a little fun and it's interactive...just what this place needs.

Will involve a little bit of work and thought but will lay this to bed for good.

Infact if I loose I will give you £50, and I will NEVER show my face on here again. Should you encounter me @ any of Newcastle’s nightspots I will leave with no fuss.

Want to know more James? Your always up for a laugh and apparently have "such a wicked sense of humour"

I think your a fucking prick...but then again I don't know you or you me...so who knows.




This could be the end for Johnny Mack could I be sent to bed with eternal egg on my face?? Or could French Ham be over come by the amazing taste of British Beef...let the CrAzYkIdZ vote with their feet...or mouse’s as the case may be.

All I need is your willingness to play, the boards willingness to play and a bit of assistance from Admin to aid in this period of yuletide fun.

The outcome is simple, you win I'm not here leaving you to blow kisses to pretty much anyone you like.....you can go round lording it saying you put me in my place...

This aint a popularity contest, cos I would be whopped handsdown as your so cool and I wanna be you.

Put your money where your mouth is...thats if you can get to your mouth through all the pork pies

Bit of fun innit

love Jon x

what exactly is your point?

im glad youve been thinking about me at work.

How long did it take you to write all that

Post of the year

it makes no sense? so how can that be post of the year? i think he's derranged?

Bit of a laugh innit, and it was only a brief thought m8.......so dont get yourself all on one.

Your chance to shine...will be a laugh

I don;'t inderstand what the actual contest he wants you to have is!??!

Makes perfect sense to me

I'm guessing he's offering you some sort of Djing competition maybe?

That's what I thought but how will that involve the whole board?

oh like a face of?

haha yeah i'd do that. Can i play nu jazz?

he is very lucky- he clearly has nothing else in his life to worry about

Re: French Ham

so what do you want to do, that post beats around the bush a lot but doesn't actually say what you want to do

you have just said you think he is a fucking prick?

Right here’s how it goes..........

Both you and me make a mix CD...the mix CD and cover will be presented to the board

The board vote......the winner takes all

There is a deadline and the mix CD can't be of your preferred genre..Like I can't play one house track or you electro.

The cd will be hosted and downloaded by the voters who will cast via a thread.

Votes published.....and it could be me who’s getting my coat.

Anything goes just not what your known for i.e. electro

No false votes off your bum boys and their various false board names.

I will leave the board and never return, backhand you £50 of the finest and be on my way should you win.

If I do well I personally don’t want fuck all from you...just that cardigan you wore to Twisted Logic...my surveillance pics are smashers and I really want it

why dont you just come down camp david and do a saturday night back to back?

that way i dont have to make any effort to make a cd?

mix cds can be falsified, don't forget jambons knows me i could bosh together the most perfect mix cd ever on my pc and no one would no any different.

Its got to be live

I'm not allowed in there as you know and it's a poor syatem and set up

a CD means everyone has a keep sake of the event.

It's no fun if eveyones not there

wow your clever I forgot your his secret wepon...your not the only one who has Ableton you know

blaming your tools again Mr. Mack

Right on Q