Emre News just in... (it's not good news folks) Newcastle United are set to lose out on Turkish star Belozoglu Emre to Premiership giants Everton. It was thought that Emre would seal a move to Newcastle, with the possibility of a deal being completed as early as Friday, but it now appears that Emre has had a change of heart and will now opt for Everton and Champions League football, despite an 11th hour attempt by Magpies manager Graeme Souness to seal a deal. Emre is thought to be delighted at the prospect of playing for such a prestigious club like Everton. "In Turkey, Everton are bigger than Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal", explained the 24 year old playmaker. "It is every boys dream to be playing at such a great stadium like Goodison Park in front of the best fans in the world. "It is true that I could have joined Newcastle, but once I found out that Souness no longer had a mustache, I no longer had any interest in joining." Everton officials are said to be delighted at pipping rivals Newcastle to the signature of one of Europes hottest comodities. Emre went on to add: "I understand the Everton fans are unhappy that Scott Parker joined a stinky club like Newcastle for more money, but rest assured, I will not dare to charge such a great club as Everton, for my services - I will play for free." Emre's wages had long been thought to be the stumbling block, but with this no longer a problem it would appear, there is nothing standing in the way of David Moyes making his third signing of the summer as he attempts to build a squad to win the Premiership and Champions League double. And the Everton manager is clearly ecstatic that he has finally got his man. "We have been chasing him for a long time", said the man regarded as the best manager in world football. "Of course Graeme Souness has been sifting through my trash to try and hijack all my transfer activity, but I was too smart for him this time. "When I found out how important it was to Emre for his manager to have a mustache, I promised to grow one. A long with my bushy eye brows and bulging eyes Souness can not compete."
Yeah I know....recently just read It like, just thought I'd post for a laugh. I should of edited it really.
