Disorder in the court

Disorder in the court

> >Disorder in the Court

>These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and
> >are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
> >now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm
> >while these exchanges were actually taking place.
> >
> >Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.
> >________________________________________

> >Q: Are you sexually active?
> >A: No, I just lie there.
> >________________________________________
> >
> >Q: What is your date of birth?
> >A: July 15th.
> >Q: What year?
> >A: Every year.> >
> >________________________________________
> >
> >Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> >A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> >________________________________________

> >Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> >A: Yes.
> >Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> >A: I forget.
> >Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
> >forgotten?
> >______________________________________
> >Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> >A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>Q: How long has he lived with you?
> >A: Forty-five years.
> >_______________________________________
> >Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
> >when he woke up that morning?
> >A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> >Q: And why did that upset you?
> >A: My name is Susan.
> >________________________________________
> >
> >Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
> >occult?
> >A: We both do.
> >Q: Voodoo?
> >A: We do.
> >Q: You do?
> >A: Yes, voodoo.
> >_________________________________________

> >Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
> >doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> >_________________________________________

> >Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
> >__________________________________________

> >Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> >__________________________________________
> >Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> >A: Yes.
> >Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> >________________________________________
> >
> >Q: She had three children, right?
> >A: Yes.
> >Q: How many were boys?
> >A: None.
> >Q: Were there any girls?
> >________________________________________

> >Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> >A: By death.
> >Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
> >> >________________________________________
> >Q: Can you describe the individual?

> >A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> >Q: Was this a male, or a female?
> >____________________________________________

> >Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
> >which I sent to your attorney?
> >A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> >___________________________________________
> >Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> >A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> >___________________________________________
> >Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> >A: Oral.
> >___________________________________________
> >Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> >A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> >Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> >A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
> >__________________________________________
> >Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> >__________________________________________

> >Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> >A: No.
> >Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> >A: No.
> >Q: Did you check for breathing?
> >A: No.
> >Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
> >autopsy?
> >A: No.
> >Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> >A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> >Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> >A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
> >somewhere