demise of the pigeon

Stephen · Dec 14, 2006

demise of the pigeon

http://www.surreycomet.co.uk/display.var.1039169.0.marksman_called_in_to_kill_kingstons_pigeons.php

some of the comments people have left are fucking hilarious, theyve a debate into a comedy script

Posted by: Mr Dallinger on 5:06pm Thu 30 Nov 06
My elder sister was held captive for nine days by a flock of rock pigeons on a small island near Malta in 1979 - it may have been Gozo but I'm not too sure. (Sorry about that.) As you might gather she suffers from nightmares and flashbacks but she has also developed a loathing of millet seeds for some strange reason. She is in full support of the cull and, in actual fact, she has already applied for the job and fully intends to carry out her duties as soon as possible - whether she gets the job or not. Be careful around town folks - she's not a good shot.
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Posted by: Horatio Phtang-Phtang Guttershrub on 2:50pm Mon 4 Dec 06
What a wonderful and charming read this debate has been.

Maybe a solution to the problem has been overlooked in all this excitement.

Would it not be possible for Mrs Dallinger's rigidly endowed husband to humanely kill these flying rats by clubbing them to death with his viagra gorged tally-wacker?
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Swana · Dec 14, 2006

Dear Margaret. As you can see I've finally mastered this email thing! Sue and John came to visit today, which was nice, and it was Sue who taught me how to use the email. I shall be writing to you often now that I have figured it out. Please send my love to Helen and the boys. See you soon Love Mum xxx
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I defecated on a pigeon once.
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There is some comedy genius going on there.....

ianmc · Dec 14, 2006

we abused this on the gods forum a few weeks back

Stephen · Dec 14, 2006

osted by: Free Willy on 3:24pm Thu 30 Nov 06
I know what you mean, reader. I was raised by yaks but I'm sure the experience was similar. How about a council worker cull instead.
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Posted by: Kim Jon Il on 2:53pm Dec 1
I just hope the council don't get more than they bargained for. I have heard the PLF (Pigeon Liberation Front) have been actively sourcing arms from overseas and are preparing for a military cooooooo!
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Posted by: Frimp Bottomer on 1:22am Wed 6 Dec 06
I'm sure the pigeons could be trained to issue parking tickets on the fly, as it were. Why, when I were a lad we used to look forward to munching on pigeon feet. Kept us regular, it did. As for that Animal Rights trollop, Tania, get a life, you brazen hussy - we know you love animals and there's quite enough of that perversion around, thank you very much.
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Stephen · Dec 14, 2006

Posted by: Mrs Dallinger on 5:18pm Thu 30 Nov 06
Dear Margaret. As you can see I've finally mastered this email thing! Sue and John came to visit today, which was nice, and it was Sue who taught me how to use the email. I shall be writing to you often now that I have figured it out. Please send my love to Helen and the boys. See you soon Love Mum xxx
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Posted by: Mrs Dallinger on 6:27pm Thu 30 Nov 06
Dear Mr Umbuku Please excuse any email fau pas I may make as this is only the second email I have ever written. Isn't it exciting? I was so sorry to hear about your plight with the Nigerian authorities and the subsequent demise of your mother, it must be a very difficult time for you my dear. My husband was saying only yesterday that the pond needed a new liner and the amount of money you are offering is quite staggering. Those Nigerian authorities have no right to withhold all that money, especially as it belongs to your family. Mr Dallinger has asked that I reply to you and confirm that the amount you wish to place into our bank account is indeed $645,00000? It does seem rather a lot. I look forward to your reply. Your sincerely Mrs D Dallinger
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Rossy · Dec 14, 2006

I'm sure most of them are by the same person.

They sound very viz.

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