crap jokes Self-Explanatory An Irishman walks out of a bar. ---------------------------- This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it. “Hey, what's that?” “A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.” “Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room. “Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!” “Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?” ------------------------------------ What Are Politics? A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are politics?" His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am capatilism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the working class. Now think about that." So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his daiper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny. The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the nanny. He went back to bed. The next morning, he went to his dad and said, "Dad i know what you mean now." "You do? Tell me." "OK, while capatilism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on!!!"
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'l take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
