Crap Joke >Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a >young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large >insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and >arranging to have her killed. > >A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious, underworld >figure, who went by the name of "Artie." > >Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a >spouse was 5,000 quid. The husband said he was willing to pay that >amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could >collect his wife's insurance money. > >Artie insisted on being paid SOMETHING up front. The man opened up his >wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie >sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the quid as >down payment for the dirty deed. > >A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local ASDA. >There, he surprised her in the produce department, and proceeded to >strangle her with his gloved hands. > >As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath, and slumped to the >floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto >the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice >but to strangle the produce manager as well. > >Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden cameras >and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the >police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store. > >Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the >sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless >husband. And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline >declared: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT ASDA."
That joke was going round Safeway when I used to work there but I'd totally forgotten about it! Thanks for cheering me up
