Bloke goes into barbers Barber: Do you want it cutting around the back? Bloke: Why? Is the the front of the shop full?
Scientists have recently dicsovered that most women will, at some time in their life, contain small amounts of intelligent DNA. Unfortunately for a large majority of females, this is only a temporary state, as over 95% of them will SPIT IT OUT!!!
Why does it take 3 men to change a light bulb when a woman is on her rags ... ? COS IT FUCKIN' DOES ... !!!
An English, Irish & a Scotsman all dead in the morgue. The englishman's wife come to identify the body & asks how did he die with such a big smile on his face ... ? The reply comes he was fuckin a blonde with big tits, the way he always wanted to go. Next in the morgue is the scotsman's wife, she also asks how did he die with such a big smile on his face ... ? The reply comes he was drinkin' a 25year old bottle of the finest malt whiskey, the way he always wanted to go. Last the irishman's wife enters the morgue to identify him & he's got the biggest smile of them all on his face. She asks how did he go ... ? The reply comes he struck by lightning ... Lightning she replys so why the LARGE smile ... ? He thought he was about to get his photo took ...
