Crap joke corner

Crap joke corner

An eskimo is driving along in his car and it breaks down. He gets out and pops the bonnet, and cant see anything wrong.
He flags down a passing car, and a welshman gets out.
The welshman has a look under the bonnet and says 'youve blown a seal'
The eskimo says 'thats nothing, you shag sheep'

Re: Crap joke corner

:laugh:

what do u call a man with a spade on his head?

Re: Re: Crap joke corner

Doug?

Re: Re: Re: Crap joke corner

Bob

Re: Re: Re: Re: Crap joke corner

class

what do u call a woman with a rose on her head?

Rite heres another.
Bloke walking down the street sees a sandwich with wires sticking out of it. He thinks its a bomb and fones the bomb disposal squad and says 'Hello, ive found a bomb'
Bomb disposal operator: 'okay. is it tickin?'
Bloke : 'No i think its ham


(tickin / chicken ) its funnier in the pub believe me

dunno

exactly my type of joke

sue

for any1 else reading these, they dont make sense, i know...thats the point :blush:

Rite this is gud in the pub!
Duck walks in2 a butchers and says 'can i have a loaf of bread please'
The butcher explains 'sorry this is a butchers, we dont sell bread', and the duck walks out
The next day the duck walks in2 the butchers and says 'can i have a loaf of bread please'
The butcher says 'sorry this is a butchers, we dont sell bread', and the duck walks out
The very next day the duck walks in2 the butchers and says 'can i have a loaf of bread please'
The butcher says 'sorry this is a butchers, we dont sell bread', and the duck walks out
Again the day after the duck walks in2 the butchers and says 'can i have a loaf of bread please'
The butcher again says 'sorry this is a butchers, we dont sell bread', and the duck walks out
And yet AGAIN the duck walks in2 the butchers and says 'can i have a loaf of bread please'
The butcher says 'look im sorry this is a butchers, we dont sell bread', and the duck walks out
The duck goes back again and says 'can i have a loaf of bread please'
The butcher snaps and says 'LOOK HERE, IVE TOLD YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN, WE ARE A BUTCHERS AND WE DONT SELL BREAD. IF YOU COME BACK HERE TOMORROW ASKING FOR BREAD AGAIN, IM GOING TO NAIL YOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR'
The duck walks out of the shop
He comes back the next day and says 'have you got any nails?'
'NO' shouts the butcher
'Can i have a loaf of bread please'

Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself in a mirror. Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight was depressing her. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on help from God.

"God...if you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you," she prayed.

And just like that, her ears fell off.

:laugh:

haha class.

What do you call ten pints in a microwave?

CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dunno?

Apple Pie
:rofl:

................

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!". The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

:laugh:

Nice1!! thats a fucking joke!

Ive got a mate whos a top gynocologist. Hes that good, he can wallpaper his hallway through the letterbox :rofl: