Coupla jokes. Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says,"This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache" Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy gets chatting to a farmer in a small country pub. Soon enough the conversation turns to sex. The guy complains that he finds it very hard to achieve an erection after many years of marriage. The farmer tells the guy that when he is trying to get his prize bull in the mood to mate, his simply rubs his hand over the cows vagina and then rubs his hand on the bulls nose, apparently this never fails and the bull is sporting a massive hard-on in moments. Walking back from the pub, the guy thinks he may try this method with his wife. When he gets home his wife is asleep, so he gets into bed and gently rubs his fingers over his sleeping spouses damp minge. He then rubs his hand over his nose, and sure enough within seconds he has the largest stiffie he has had for years. Desperate to poke his wife, he wakes her up. She switches the light on, takes one look at him and says " for fucks sake, why have you woken me up just to tell me you've got a nose-bleed"
