classic A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor. The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them." The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm really sorry mate, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you is dipping his crackers in your neck."