classic press cuttings Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a special branch vehicle, and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian) Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (Reuters via The Manchester Evenings News) After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist Bastards. The bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr. Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance, by cheque, made out in his new name. (The Guardian) Would the congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the church labelled 'for the sick' is for monetary donations only. (Churchtown Parish Magazine) 6.10pm: Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Bennett's estranged cousin, Mr.Collins, writes to announce his imminent visit to Longbourne - the house he will inherit on Mr.Bennett's death. Mrs. Bennett rallies the residents to stop him setting up a minicab service. (Hampstead and Highgate Express) There must, for instance, be something very strange in a man who , if left a lone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on. (Glasgow Evening News) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express) Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out Heil Hitler". (Bournemouth Evening Echo) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr.Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West gas said "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr.Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that blew his house to pieces." (Bangkok Post)
Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings dont put yourself down sarah, youll make a bloody good housewife, goldstar
Re: Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings Who said anything about putting myself down? I set my standards higher than being a housewife
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings what a cloakroom attendant, im fukkin off before i get slapped.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings yes thats right Ian, fuck off, myabe do something usefull like go to the gym, shift some of those excessive pounds?
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings ok luv. im seriously thinking about turning myself into a love muscle, got a way to go yet like, but i shall get there
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings you can help sarah like - £30 quid an hour that seems fair, ill be a slim twat in no time
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings well like i said before in another post, i run an online brothel, i use an 'e-commerce' system to trade over the internet give me your account details, and i will send a bitch round ASAP
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings cash when you have delivered an acceptable shag, i want the works, and i dont mind paying extra for my brown wings.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: classic press cuttings I send a chick with a dick around im sure he will enjoy that
nah, tis pay before ya play with this company, very professional *cough* not speakin from experience or anythin mind :angel3:
