Chad Wegkamp's Giant Testicles [PopBitch] "I got one fucking word for you: Gwar." - Corey, Slipknot --------------------------------------------------- POPBITCH! _ _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 29.01.03 *issue 150* subscribe or unsubscribe: http://www.popbitch.com our email: hello@popbitch.com * Chad Wegkamp and his giant testicles * Hasslehoff heals the world * Charts: TATU - first Russian lesbo number one --------------------------------------------------- >> What did Heidi do for Di? << Hollywood hot-rods for Princess? Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss is dropping hints that she provided male escorts for Princess Diana. But if she had a decent supply of buff LA studs, why did Diana waste her time with wankers like Will Carling and James Hewitt? --------------------------------------------------- Is Heather McCartney pregnant? She was spotted leaving (celeb mom favourite) Portland Hospital this week. --------------------------------------------------- >> Big Questions << The blind items leading the blind Which Footballers Wives star is desperately trying to suppress a story about the torrid lesbian affair... of her mother? (Mum has been seeing the wife of a member of a prominent golf club. Oh dear.) Which TV celebrity has been getting over the departure of his bimbo wife with bouts of hardcore anal sex? (Our survey says: that is no way to win her back.) --------------------------------------------------- Madonna may be heading to Las Vegas for a Celine Dion-style lounge residency. Rumours that she's just producing a show are said to be a smokescreen. --------------------------------------------------- >> "I'm only into Tatu for research" << Russian teen-lezzers comfort the paedos Paedophiles around the country are quaking in fear, waiting for the police to knock on their door and arrest them for being on the Paedo-website List of Doom. Still, at least they'll be able to enjoy a Comfort-Wank over Tatu. The child psychologist who formed the band has shot two more videos, and they're both nonce-friendly. Nas Ne Dogonjat features the girls stealing a truck and running people over, which is intercut with childhood photos of the girls, including a nude full frontal of one of them aged about seven. The other, 30 Minutes, sees Lena getting pissed off when she catches Julia with a man... so she makes a bomb and blows herself up. Hooray! --------------------------------------------------- Joke that probably comes from Australia: Q: What do you call a lesbian with one leg? A: "Gaylene" --------------------------------------------------- >> Celebrity Parasites << Everyone loves their Sports Dad Supercrass writes: "The latest 'job' to be found around Hollywood these days is 'Sports Dad'. The Sports Dad is hired by ageing directors, actors or musicians who have loads of money, young wives and kids at a late age. The old goats are too ancient and useless to tend to their childrens non-financial needs. So they hire someone else to do it - ie play ball with them, watch them play little league etc..." --------------------------------------------------- Paris Hilton has an airdog called Tinkerbell. --------------------------------------------------- >> Chad Wegkamp's Giant Testicles << "Dad, I needed the money for my scrotum" Chad Wegkamp, a schizophrenic 18 year-old boy in Virginia USA, became so obsessed with the idea that his testicles were too big he robbed a bank to pay for plastic surgery. Even though doctors told him everything was normal, Chad had started cutting holes in his underwear so he could tape up his scrotum. One day it got so bad that he tried to operate on himself with scissors. He only stopped because there was so much pain and blood. Finally he decided he needed to have a proper operation. First, he tried to make his own banknotes. Then he robbed a local bank. It went successfully, and he got away with $6,000. Unfortunately the police soon caught up with him. When his father confronted him about the police's suspicions, Chad could only say: "Dad, I needed the money for my scrotum". The full, sad story: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A38030-2003Jan24.html --------------------------------------------------- Girls Aloud's follow-up track Can't Stop Rockin' is said to be fabulous. But things in the One True Voice camp are going from bad to worse. --------------------------------------------------- >> Bay City Roll-overs << Tam Paton went Uncle Monty on the band Bay City Rollers manager Tam Paton was recently arrested in connection with sexual abuse allegations from the 1970s. And one of the accusers is... a former member of the band! The assault was said to be so bad he had to stab Tam in the shoulder to get him off. --------------------------------------------------- "The Bone Channel". Ozzy's name for hotel porn. --------------------------------------------------- >> Hasslehoff heals the world << Michael Knight takes on apartheid In the early 80s Knight Rider star David Hasselhoff visited South Africa, as the show was a huge hit there. Obsessed with getting close to his fans and a hatred of "political bullshit", he boarded a segregated (blacks only) bus. When warned not to, he replied: "Hasselhoff can't go on that bus, but Michael Knight can!" --------------------------------------------------- Nicole Kidman signs into hotels as Miss Honey. --------------------------------------------------- >> Oh yay, it's nearly Eurovision again << And once again, the Germans are the best At the start of each new year our thoughts naturally turn to the Eurovision Song Contest. Britain is set for yet another dismal entry but in Germany however, its a different story. Recent entries have included a blind Hi-NRG singer, a group of strippers and TV star Stefan Raab. Our favorourite German contender this year was Joachim Deutschland, a black, 6' 4" tall, bare-chested singer, wearing only army trousers and a fur coat. After an appeal to "wipe out the white race" (a joke, he said) he showed his ass to the audience. Unfortunately he has since been disqualified because he had put an obscene song on his internet site about a prominent politician's family. Then again, someone might have objected to the lyrics of his Eurovision entry, Maria: "You slut, you dirty pig, I hope you get it bad" http://www.joachim-deutschland.de/Fotos.html --------------------------------------------------- German favourite is now Elmar Brandt, a Gerhard Schroder impersonator, who's most recent hit is a political protest song based on Las Ketchup's Asereje --------------------------------------------------- >> Things to make you go Hmm << Monkeys, man-love and geese P Diddy's clothing line, Sean John, has just sent out 1000 invitations costing $75 each for its fashion show. Each ticket is a complex box, stamped with the Sean Jean logo in black foil, containing a black t shirt emblazoned with the slogan Hard, Sexy and Beautiful. Gay football fan-fic, "When Michael Met David...": http://www.asstr.org/files/Collections/nifty/gay/celebrity/english-soccer-stars U2 have launched a competition to build a massive new complex in Dublin to house their new studio, "a beacon for Dublin", the competition states. Comprising a restaurant, bar and nightclub, the two top floors will be their recording studio. There will also be a private roof terrace. It's an open competition to design it, and it costs ¤100 enter. If you win, you only get ¤12,000. Make sex more comfortable: http://liberatorshapes.com/ Potential stalkers: we hear Kings Cross go-kart track in London might be a good place to start. Robbie Williams and Jensen Button are among the celebs who often spend Sundays there. Buy clothes for your goose: http://www.geeseclothes.com Hundreds of drawings of monkeys http://www.rubbishmonkey.co.uk/
>> Chart Predictions << New entries for Sunday 2 February ++ Number One TATU All The Things She Said Lena has a chau-chau dog named Blankeria. ++ Top Ten KELLY ROWLAND Stole Kelly makes her big screen debut as Lori in the forthcoming horro flick "Freddy vs Jason" ++ Top Twenty CAM'RON Oh Boy Track features fellow Diplomats bandmember Juelz Santana. KELLY OSBOURNE Shut Up Daniel Bedingfield's been trying to get a date with Kelly, unsuccessfully. BEENIE MAN Street Life Beenie's real name is Moses Davis. BUSTA RHYMES Make It Clap Dan "The Automator" is putting together a duet between Busta Rhymes and LeAnn Rimes for his solo album. 3RD EDGE Know You Wanna Have the dubious honour of performing at the first MTV under-18's party SUPERGRASS Seen The Light This is the first Supergrass single to include DVD live footage. ++ Top Forty SOFT CELL The Night Soft Cell are giving a Valentine's Day special concert in Gent, Belgium. MINT ROYALE Blue Song Dour film sountrack fodder. The band's music has recently featured in Vanilla Sky, Goldmember and the remake of Get Carter EASYWORLD Junkies Eastbourne three-some who say they like love, beer and cocoa. BLACKSTREET Wizzy-Wow "No Diggity" has been voted one of the 100 greatest pop songs of all time by both MTV and Rolling Stone CHICANE Saltwater Re-issue of 1999 top ten hit, featuring Maire Brennan >> End Bit << Help Popbitch Please email us stories, facts, gossip, news, whatever: hello@popbitch.com * We thought it would be fun to start a popbitch record label. Next month we're releasing a very limited edition CD single. * Are you going to the Brits and want to help with our record release? (email bitch@thebrits.tv) * We also need to update our office CD collection: Got any spare hair-metal? eg Warrant, Nightranger, Ratt, Leppard, Whitesnake etc.. And Christina's album, please? Thanks: plastiktom, mbs, beezer, mojojojo, snipersdream, johnnygiles, naimhie, SM, ronan, cluedobob, mandy, colonel_boogie, PC, PC, Heidra Supercrass, Rev_Slim, grandecazzan, ********************************* SUPPORT POPBITCH! Thanks to the following: * Zomba, Pinnacle and Darth Paul for the Nick Carter CDs * Ministry of Sound for the Bent CD and vodka/worm * Lastminute.com for the cereals, videos and DVDs * Men Only for the porn * MTV for the Osbournes preview Please send bribes and prescription drugs etc to: Popbitch, Charter House, 2 Farringdon Rd London EC1M 3HP ********************************* Subscribe or unsubscribe: http://www.popbitch.com Popbitch is hosted in a nuclear bunker: http://www.thebunker.net Advertise on popbitch.com for £10: http://www.popbitch.com/cgi-bin/board/ad.cgi Old Jokes Home: Q: What's silver and sits at the end of the bed taking the piss out of you? A: A kidney dialysis machine. Still bored? Dr Pissoff invites you to watch women wrestling in blood: http://members.tripod.com/~DoktorPissoff/doktorpissoff13.html
