Actual Directions These are actual directions found on certain products around the world! 1. Directions found on a bag of frito corn chips. "You could be a winner!!! No purchase neccessary!!! Details inside!" you think to your self (Shoplifters special) 2. On Tesco's Tiramisu Desert (directions on bottom) "Do not turn upsode down" (Too late) 3. On Marks & Spncers Bread Pudding. "Product will be hot after heating" (Just as day follows night) 4. On most kinds of christmas lights. "Indoor and outdoor uses ONLY" (As opposed to what now?) 5. On Sainsbury's peanuts. "WARNING CONTAINS NUTS!!!" (Talk about your news flash) 6. Found on an American Airlines Packet of peanuts. "Step One: Open packet. Step two: Eat nuts." You think to your self (Step three: Fly Delta) 7. On a sweedish chinsaw. "Warning! PLease do not try to stop with hands or genitals!!" (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere!My GOD!)