A great conversation from a great website. I dunno if anyone else reads anything from bash.org, but here is a conversation transcript that made me almost piss my pants. Check out the website and quote some of the ones you find funny. ----------------------------------- sweet17: Hi bloodninja: hello bloodninja: who is this? sweet17: just a someone? bloodninja: A someone I know? sweet17: nope bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me? sweet17: well sorrrrrry sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you bloodninja: why? sweet17: nevermind your an jerk bloodninja: Hey wait a minute sweet17: yes? bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid sweet17: paranoid? bloodninja: yes sweet17: of what? sweet17: me? bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding. sweet17: LOL bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me! bloodninja: This shit is serious! sweet17: What are you hiding from? bloodninja: The cops. sweet17: gimme a fucking break bloodninja: I’m serious. sweet17: I don’t get it bloodninja: The cops are after me. sweet17: For what? bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states sweet17: For??? bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing. bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey. bloodninja: Hello? sweet17: You are fucking sick. bloodninja: Send me your picture. sweet17: why? bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them. sweet17: One of what? bloodninja: The cops. sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you bloodninja: Then send me your picture. sweet17: hold on bloodninja: Hurry up. bloodninja: Are you there? bloodninja: fuck you, cop! sweet17: Hey sorry sweet17: I had to do something for my mom. bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities. bloodninja: Weren’t you!? sweet17: thats not it bloodninja: Then what? sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty bloodninja: Most cops aren’t sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKSHIT! bloodninja: Then send me the picture. sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail? bloodninja: Just send it through here. sweet17: alright *PIC* sweet17: Did you get it? bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking. sweet17: That was me back in may sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then. bloodninja: I hope so sweet17: what?!? sweet17: that hurt my feelings. bloodninja: Did it? sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now. bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? sweet17: yes bloodninja: Alright let me find it. sweet17: kks bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC* sweet17: this isn’t you. bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t! sweet17: You don’t look like that. bloodninja: How the hell do you know? sweet17: cause your profile has another picture. bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake. bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops. sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy…. bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries. sweet17: Go fuck yourself bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week. sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture. sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me. sweet17: you hurt me. bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me? sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me! bloodninja: Why would I do that? sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. sweet17: FUCK YOU!!! bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs. sweet17: You’re a fucking wanker! sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry. sweet17: No you aren’t bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not. bloodninja: HAARRRRR! sweet17: I’m done with you bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry. sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore bloodninja: Wait a sec bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot. bloodninja: Wanna start over? sweet17: No bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty sweet17: You’ll what? bloodninja: You heard me. bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty. sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty? sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men. bloodninja: I get excited in different ways. sweet17: Like what? bloodninja: Do you really wanna know? sweet17: I don’t know bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no. sweet17: I’m afraid to bloodninja: Why? sweet17: cause bloodninja: cause why? sweet17: well lets see sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you? bloodninja: Nope sweet17: well its strange to me bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to sweet17: I didn’t say that bloodninja: So is that a yes? sweet17: I guess so. bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. bloodninja: Are you willing? sweet17: What do you need me to do? bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate. sweet17: ??? bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!” bloodninja: ok? bloodninja: Hello? sweet17: You can’t be serious bloodninja: Oh yes I am! bloodninja: It’s my fantasy. sweet17: this is retarded bloodninja: Do you want it or not? sweet17: Yes I want it. bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me? sweet17: sure bloodninja: Ok. Here we go. bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty. bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt. sweet17: mmmm yeah bloodninja: uh oh …going limp. sweet17: Har bloodninja: You gotta do better than that! bloodninja: Your picture was really bad. sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke. bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. sweet17: mmmmmm you are good bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder bloodninja: going limp sweet17: HARRRRRRR bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth. bloodninja: going limp sweet17: this is stupid bloodninja: …still limp bloodninja: Do it! sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole. bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass. sweet17: WTF?!?!? bloodninja: They stink really bad. sweet17: OMG STOP!!! bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg. bloodninja: I ram it up your ass. sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple… bloodninja: I kick you in the face! sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!! bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin… bloodninja: Your parrot flys away. bloodninja: …going limp again. bloodninja: Hello? bloodninja: Say it! bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
been around ages but still makes me fuckin crease! Theres more than that one , but that is deffo the best! I'd love to see what that girl looks like
Yeah im late discovering the bash website <mage> what should I give sister for unzipping? <Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks? <mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
<wahnsinn> $4000 for a couch? <griff> you could feed some kid in africa for TEN YEARS for that couch <Mo> but could you sit on him afterward?
<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too. <Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org? <turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! ! <Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right? <turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life. <Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it. [Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org? [Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!! [Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him. [Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it [Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you. [Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu . [Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point
(Mootar) morons. (Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless (Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network (Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways (Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer
my favourite: <NES> lol <NES> I download something from Napster <NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done <NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you" <NES> "getting my song back fucker"
love this one <tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong <Ouroboros> Ok. <tag> | . <Ouroboros> . | <tag> | . <Ouroboros> . | <tag> | . <Ouroboros> | . <Ouroboros> Whoops
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say... BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES BlackAdder> IN FACT BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.* *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( ) t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right CRCError> right heartless> Right. r3v> right
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks? <TheXPhial> vaccuums <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? <TheXPhial> black holes <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool? <TheXPhial> lava? haha
