a bit irish! a bit irish! > > > Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border > checkpoint. Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is > illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four". > > "Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishman retorts. > disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry > five persons." > > "You cannot pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means four, > you have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the > law." > > The Englishmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over > I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!" > > "Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno." > > > A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is > going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring > over 2 other female friends in addition to my fiancée and you try and > guess which one I'm > going to marry". The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into > the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He > then says, Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately > replies, The red-head in the middle." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right, > how did you know?" "I don't like her." > > > > Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are > charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner." A voice at > the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You b*stard!" The judge > continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with > a > spanner." > Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You ****ing > b*stard!!!" The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the > courtroom, and said, Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at > this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I > shall charge you with contempt! Now what is the problem?" Paddy, at the > back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen years I've lived > next > door to that b*stard. > And every time I asked to borrow a ****ing spanner, he said he > didn't have one!" > > > > A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he > looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer. After drinking > that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for another > beer. This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks > him, > "Why do you keep looking in your pocket?" The man replies, "I have a > picture of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I'll go home."
