Proud to be British

Proud to be British

Only in Britain

Why..............
can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the
shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at
the front.

do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our
junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first
place.

are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.



Not to mention...




3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.



58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.



31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet.


18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.


A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.



5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.



And finally.........



In 2000, 8 Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

i had the same email but about americans

better than being american and having housands of your fellow men women and children die of gunshot wounds every year

over 11,000 last year compared to 90 odd here

i will go out on a limb and guess all the above happen in other countries too, so it isn't only britain

also i find your comment about disabled spaces at the ice rink offensive, why shouldn't disabled people get priority parking there?

if you hate this country so much then do something more constructive about it that copy and pasting on a club message board

Funny though

exacto, theyre off their fucking box, no wonder the world cant take them seriously.

their leader has the diplomacy skills of a caveman.
they hand out guns to people like theyre ornaments.

that nation is fucked up

Re: Proud to be British

So, would it be better to just have alllll the calories of normal coke? Never understood why people say that

Fair enough its quite ironic, but not really...Hmm..that didnt make sense at all

i dont hate this country AT ALL it was a joke! I am immensely proud to be British!

Wrong message board clearly...

and also for this......



A customer walks into a shop :

Customer: Worcester sauce crisps please mate...
Shop Keeper: Sorry can't, it's off the shelves, cancer scare.
Customer: Oh right, uh Chinese Chicken Wings?
Shop Keeper: Ah that's the same mate, cancer scare
Customer: Hamburger Relish?
Shop Keeper: Cancer scare
Customer: Sausage and Mash?
Shop Keeper: Cancer scare
Customer: Cottage Pie?
Shop Keeper: Aye, ...no wait, cancer scare.
Customer: So they're all off the shelves because of a cancer scare?
Shop Keeper: Yup.
Customer: That's mad, just give me a packet of fags then.
Shop Keeper: No bother.£4.90 please.
Customer: Thanks

Re: Proud to be British

Sorry but you have to laugh! "Its a bloody bauble you idiot..."

Oh and as you quite rightly pointed out... i did cut and paste this therefore it wasnt my comment

Well its like I was saying in the thread about the dye stuff..the worst thing on the shelves that will give you cancer are cigarettes! And we r all prime suspects - those who smoke and those who dont - for breathing in cigarette smoke!

i was bored, get over it

dave

LMAO @ Blakey & Katie

I can DEFO believe that like. The amount of kids toys Ive stood on in Stephen's room.... :bang:

This pisses me off and yet amuses me at the same time

I cant say im proud to be british because...

We dont help 3rd world enough
We bomb innocent civilians illegal
We detain SUSPECT terrorist wiothout any human rights whom are then let go after 2 years of torture
Most opf the cities are grim with too much crime
Its Cold
Its Wet
Its Colder still
Its full of chavs
Its full of bigots
Its full of rasicts
It has a shit transport system
It has high unemployment
It is in bed with USA
It has a history of killing and taking what it wants from the free world
Its Cold
It can be VERY cold
Its greedy
And it has an unblanced distribution of its weathy system
It has a out of date imbreed grecko/german royal family whom i have no respect for
Its leader is sleeping with G W Bush
Minories have a poor chance in life
And i live here

That is all

errrr...

Fuck off then

I plan too, im gonna live in oz in 4 to 5 years time

Why wait ? get a shift on