This made me laugh Stolen from another board, some lads last cyber sex conversation : > Girl: Hi > Boy: hello > Boy: who is this? > Girl: just a someone? > Boy: A someone I know? > Girl: nope > Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me? > Girl: well sorrrrrry > Girl: I just wanted to chat with you > Boy: why? > Girl: nevermind your an asshole > Boy: Hey wait a minute > Girl: yes? > Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid > Girl: paranoid? > Boy: yes > Girl: of what? > Girl: me? > Boy: No. I'm in hiding. > Girl: LOL > Boy: Don't ******* laugh at me! > Boy: This shit is serious! > Girl: What are you hiding from? > Boy: The cops. > Girl: gimme a ******* break > Boy: I'm serious. > Girl: I don't get it > Boy: The cops are after me. > Girl: For what? > Boy: I'm wanted in three states > Girl: For??? > Boy: It's kindof embarrasing. > Boy: I had sex with a turkey. > Boy: Hello? > Girl: You are ******* sick. > Boy: Send me your picture. > Girl: why? > Boy: so I know you aren't one of them. > Girl: One of what? > Boy: The cops. > Girl: I'm not a cop i told you > Boy: Then send me your picture. > Girl: hold on > Boy: Hurry up. > Boy: Are you there? > Boy: **** you, cop! > Girl: Hey sorry > Girl: I had to do something for my mom. > Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. > Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities. > Boy: Weren't you!? > Girl: thats not it > Boy: Then what? > Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty > Boy: Most cops aren't > Girl: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU DICKHEAD! > Boy: Then send me the picture. > Girl: fine. What's your e-mail? > Boy: Just send it through here. > Girl: alright *PIC* > Girl: Did you get it? > Boy: Hold on. I'm looking. > Girl: That was me back in may > Girl: I've lost weight since then. > Boy: I hope so > Girl: what?!? > Girl: that hurt my feelings. > Boy: Did it? > Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. > Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? > Girl: yes > Boy: Alright let me find it. > Girl: kks > Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC* > Girl: this isn't you. > Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't! > Girl: You don't look like that. > Boy: How the hell do you know? > Girl: cause your profile has another picture. > Boy: The profile pic is a fake. > Boy: I use it to hide from the cops. > Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol > Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... > Boy: Not to mention all the groceries. > Girl: Go **** yourself > Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture > Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week. > Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. > Girl: You've done nothing but slam me. > Girl: you hurt me. > Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? > Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me! > Boy: Why would I do that? > Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you > Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. > Girl: FUC YOU!!! > Boy: You'd break both of his legs. > Girl: You're a ******* asshole. > Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight > Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me > Boy: Ok. I'm sorry. > Girl: No you aren't > Boy: You're right. I'm not. > Boy: HAARRRRR! > Girl: I'm done with you > Boy: Aww. I'm sorry. > Girl: I'm putting you on ignore > Boy: Wait a sec > Boy: We got off on the wrong foot. > Boy: Wanna start over? > Girl: No > Boy: I'll eat your pussy > Girl: You'll what? > Boy: You heard me. > Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy. > Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture > Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy? > Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes > Boy: Well I'm not like most men. > Boy: I get excited in different ways. > Girl: Like what? > Boy: Do you really wanna know? > Girl: I don't know > Boy: You have to tell me yes or no. > Girl: I'm afraid to > Boy: Why? > Girl: cause > Boy: cause why? > Girl: well lets see > Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna > eat me out > Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you? > Boy: Nope > Girl: well its strange to me > Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to > Girl: I didn't say that > Boy: So is that a yes? > Girl: I guess so. > Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. > Boy: Are you willing? > Girl: What do you need me to do? > Boy: I need you talk like a pirate. > Girl: ??? > Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" > Boy: ok? > Boy: Hello? > Girl: You can't be serious > Boy: Oh yes I am! > Boy: It's my fantasy. > Girl: this is retarded > Boy: Do you want it or not? > Girl: Yes I want it. > Boy: Then you'll do it for me? > Girl: sure > Boy: Ok. Here we go. > Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. > Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against > them > Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy. > Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit. > Girl: mmmm yeah > Boy: uh oh ...going limp. > Girl: Har > Boy: You gotta do better than that! > Boy: Your picture was really bad. > Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR > Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every > stroke. > Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. > Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. > Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. > Girl: mmmmmm you are good > Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder > Boy: going limp > Girl: HARRRRRRR > Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. > Boy: You begin to sway back and forth. > Boy: going limp > Girl: this is stupid > Boy: ...still limp > Boy: Do it! > Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR > Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole. > Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. > Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. > Girl: WTF?!?!? > Boy: They stink really bad. > Girl: OMG STOP!!! > Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass > Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg. > Boy: I ram it up your ass. > Girl: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!! > Boy: Then I pour hot caramel over your head. > Boy: And turn you into a ******* candy apple... > Boy: I kick you in the face! > Girl: **** YOU ASSHOLE!! > Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... > Boy: Your parrot flys away. > Boy: ...going limp again. > Boy: Hello? > Boy: Say it! > Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
