Times you wish youd just kept your mouth shut. haway then, amuse me... My best one was in my first week of college. we were put in a group and told to discuss our family. some lad said that he lived with his mother and that his dad had died from a heart attack in the local corner shop when he was young, cue - 'Fucking hell! were the prices that good?'' i still wake up at night with that one ringing in my ears.
Hahaha like it When eating a meal with my GFs family, grandparents etc. The topic of the dentist came up somehow, and i said that one time id had so much anesthetic put in my mouth that i looked like id had a stroke. Cept her gran knew what a stroke was like, cos shed had one I got a boot in the shin off my lass for that one
first week in a new job sitting in the canteen with my new workmate 'look at her, christ I'd give her one' ............'thats my wife'
I was chatting to my lecturer about Byker 'as i worked there' i said it was full of scruffs etc etc the lecturer let me go on about how horrible and rough the place is before he but in and said he lived there
I did the same when working with one of the brickies in my old job. We were driving along and i leered at some lass saying "phwoar id give her one" or something to that effect. He said it was his daughter so i told him to fuck off, and he pulled over and asked is she was going to see her mam at work. Foot firmly in mouth
I can remember the old joke when someone called someone else i spakka or wot not and i use to say "eaaaah thats not nice my brothers a retard" The looks on ppls faces fucking priceless
First audio recording lecture at uni, i asked my lecturer if he'd listen to a couple of tracks and give me some tips as he'd just played this cheesy dance track but the production was good. So i told him i its similar to what he had just played just not cheesy rubbish. Turned oit he had made that track and it had been in the top 20. Needless to say he said he couldnt help me.
