tbh mate i had the pic n hadnt a fucking clue what to type, lol anyway, could be some more jokes 2moro as am off to see chubby tonight, chants, "you fat bastard, you fat bastard, you fat bastard, you fat bastard"
canny cos u shall b able to keep me entertained @ work 2moro!!!! i was gonna put a replky bout my arse being fatter but i decided against it, just in case sum peeps agreed with me!!! my arse ain't that big just nearly!!
oh therell be plenty, heres one of me favourites hes done: Guy goes on holiday, but its no ordinary holiday, hes going bear hunting, so first day arrives, he goes into the shop on site, buys a gun and a poisinous tracker snake. Gets into the forrest, spots the bear, BANG, lets the gun go, runs over, looks around, no fucking. Then as hes about to walk away, the bear taps him on the shoulders and says, "did u just fucking shout at me??????" Guy replies, "No mate, not a me" Bear, "you did, you fucking shot at me you little shit, now bend over and drop your fucking trousers, thats right, drop your trousers, bears like a shag" shag, shag, shag Guy, "Ahh me arse, ahh ahh" Next day, guy goes into shop and buys a bazooka, hand granades, little gun, and a jar of vaseline. Goes back to the forrest, spots the bear, he knows it him, theres a plaster on his ear, fires the bazooka, throws the grinades, fires the gun. He runs over shouting, "I fucking warned you............", Yet again, no fucking bear. The bear taps him on the shoulder, "Ah, not fucking you again, didnt you learn yesterday, right, drop your trousers." Shag, Shag, Shag. Next day, guys goes back to the shop and with the last of his travellers cheques, he buys a tank, goes back to the forrest ansd spots the bear, again, he knows it was him, he was badly singed, so he aims the tank, and, BOOM, fires at him. He jumps out of the tank and runs over shouting, "See, I fucking warned you..............". Looks and yet again, no fucking bear, then all of a sudden the bear taps him on the shoulder and says, "Come one darling, lets be honest, your not just here for the hunting are you?"
i ain't heard that joke 4 fucking ages!!! ROTFLMFAO!! btw did u hear the joke about the fanny licking frog?
there was a woman who was in the process of a divorce so she hadn't had any 4 a while..........she was walking passed a her local pet shop on her way home from work one day & noticed a sign in the window FANNY LICKING FROGS ORGASM GARUNTEED!!! she was intreged & impressed so went into the shop!! she said to the guy i want 1 of those frogs...... so that nite she took it home & follewed the instructions set by the pet shop owner - just take ya clothes off & place frog between legs & away ya go to heaven!!! nothing happened........... again the next day she tried again............. nothing happened............. by the 3rd day she was very unhappy & went back to the shop....... the shop owner recognised the lady & asked her what the problem was..so s he explained that the frog wasn't doing anything at all when placed between her legs..........he asked her to go thru to the back of the shop with him, so she did (the shop keeper closed the shop!!!) she went thru the back & took her clothes off & placed the frog between her legs & again nothing happened............. the shop keeper picked up the frog & said do i have to show u 1 more time.....................
Guy goes into a pet shop and buys a budgie and a cage, so he sitting at home watching this budgie, its just standing on its purch, not moving or making anynoise. He thinks maybes cos its new and a change of scenery. A week later, still no change, so the guy goes back to the shop and tells the shopkeeper, who asks the guy does he have a mirror in its cage, so he buys a mirror and puts it in its cage. The budgie walks across its purch, looks in the mirror, smiles at itself and walks back across the purch and stands miserably again. Yet again, a week later and thie budgie hasnt moved since it first looked in the mirror, so he goes back to the petshop, the owner asks does it have a ladder, so he buys it a ladder and puts it in the cage, immediately the budgie walk along its purch, smiles at itself in the mirror, walks up the ladder, walks back down the ladder, smiles at itself in the mirror and walks back along the pirch. The same happens as the week before, it doesnt move all week, so the guy goes back to the petshop, the owner asks does it have a bell in its cage, so he gets a bell. He puts it in the cage, immediately the budgie walk along its purch, smiles at itself in the mirror, walks up the ladder, dings the bell, walks back down the ladder, smiles at itself in the mirror and walks back along the pirch. A week later and the budgie hasnt budged since, so the next morning just before hes about to goto the petshop he looks in the cage so find the budgie on the bottom of the cage dead. He storms into the petshop, and tells the owner, he says, i bought a ladder, a mirror, a bell, what fucking more does it need. The owner replies, did u ever think of buying it some food.
woman in an office block goes for her lunch break, she goes upto the bar on the 42nd floor, she looks around and sees a load of miserable old twats sitting with there pints, then as shes about to walk back out, she sees the quite fit guy at the bar, she walks over and says, hi there, what you drinking there mate, the guy replies, its magic bitter. She thinks to herself, what a fucking idiot, theres no such thing as miagic bitter and wanders off around the bar. After a couple of minutes looking round she realises he is the only person in the bar who looks half-normal. So she goes back and says, so that magic bitter is it, guy replies, yeah it is, so she asks him, can u prove it, guys says, of course i can. So he jumps out of the window, flies around the building and comes back on through the another window. Fuck me, she replies, that was luck, i bet you couldnt do it again, so the guy jumps out of a different window, flies around the building and comes back in another window. Blody hell, she shouts, barman, give me a pint of what hes drinking, so she gets the drink, downs it in one, turns to this guy and says, watch this. She goes to the window, jumps out and fall 42 storeys and dies. The barman walks over to the guy and says, superman, your a fucking twat when your pissed.
